The official Memorial Day holiday is arriving a little late in my family. For us, at least for those of us back home in Minnesota, it happened about a month ago, when my father’s cousin was returned home.
He was an Army sergeant when he went missing in action in the Korean War. Missing and presumed dead, he had a funeral in 1953.
Some time last year, his brothers were notified that his remains were found. Some of them, anyway. We learned more about his death. He’d been taken as a prisoner of war and probably died in prison camp in 1951.
It took months to arrange for his homecoming and burial. I don’t know all the details.
Last month, though, he was returned to his home town and was buried in our church cemetery, with full military honors.
The local newspaper there covered the homecoming and the services for three consecutive weeks. I’d been getting the paper for about two months by then, and wondering when someone in my family would show up on the front page — it’s a pretty small town, even by Valley standards. It took maybe three weeks, and there was my Mom, smiling behind the quilt she helped make to donate to the local Relay for Life event.
A couple of weeks later, there were a lot more of my family, all on my Dad’s side, on the front page. That was a lot harder for me to look at. I never knew Arnold, but I knew all of those faces in the paper.
Now I am not a crier, not for sad movies, not for holiday commercials, not for anything fake. But I have no defenses against a real person in real grief. When I talk to veterans, that grief is just under the surface of the faces they show the world. They may be survivors, strong soldiers who made it home and lived their lives, but they lost something, too. It’s hard to acknowledge that, and harder to express it.
I haven’t read any of those issues of my home-town paper yet. The churn of work and projects and the lure of sunny days in the garden have kept me out of the frame of mind I want to be in when I read them. I think this weekend will be good for that.
Commemorative events
The American Legion will conduct ceremonies at all upper Valley cemeteries on Memorial Day, Monday, May 25.
Services will be at 9 a.m. in Preston Cemetery, 10 a.m. in Fall City Cemetery, 11 a.m. in Mount Si Cemetery and noon at the veteran memorial at the American Legion Hall. Details here: http://www.valleyrecord.com/community/304329211.html.
