I have long suspected that somewhere, someone is sitting and and thinking up ludicrous things to perpetrate on the average person.

This individual implements that ridiculous idea, whatever it is, then sits back to enjoy the havoc they have created.

Finally, I have proof of this and I would like to share it with my loyal readers.

This morning, I repaired to my local computer to catch up on the world, see what classmates have visited my site (as if I cared), and checked my financial institution to make sure some nefarious millionaire hadn’t used his prowess or the skill of his minions to tap into one of my accounts and drain some of the funds.

I was asked, first, for my account number, then told to enter a security number, then to enter the name of my favorite teacher, my mother’s maiden name and my favorite pet.

“Geez,” I thought, “When will this end?”

I kept getting error messages for everything I did and was finally told to go to the security page to update the questions. I tried that, and guess what: to get to the security page, I had to go through the same series of questions I couldn’t answer before.

I know that some person of authority thought up a way to further add to the confusion and disorganization of the common man (that’s me).

I picture that person sitting back in an easy chair with multiple monitors in front of him. Each monitor shows one of us, you and I, beating our computers in utter frustration. I picture the scene from “Dr. Strangelove” where Peter Sellers, as the mad scientist, is in the same position, rubbing his hands together in wild glee as he watches his many screens showing you and I furtively trying to log into their accounts. Of course, to one side of this giant display of displays is a meter similar to a thermometer that is a frustration gauge, the red line rising at a speedy rate.

This Dr. Strangelove-type person may reply in defense, “we’re just trying to keep crooks out of your accounts.”

OK, I can accept that — but where does the security end and the ability to access those accounts begin? I’m glad someone is protecting my meager funds, but where does this end? At what point are we over-protected?

And will someone please tell me how I can check my checking and savings account balances?

• Bob Edwards lives in North Bend and is a member of the Sno Valley Writes! group. E-mail him at bobledwards@comcast.net.