The Love Dare

Stephen and

Alex Kendrick

I first heard about “The Love Dare” from the publicity for the film portrayal, “Fireproof.” It sounded interesting, but probably not something that I would pick up right away — or ever.

A few weeks later, my 12-year-old step-daughter dropped a bomb shell: “I’m never getting married because when it ends, it’s too painful.” That declaration bombarded my body and fitfully resided in my belly for days. Suddenly, “The Love Dare” was a book that I had to read for her.

“The Love Dare” is as a 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to recommit themselves to having a loving marriage. It is based on Christian principles and scriptures.

While I am not religious, my step-daughter is an active and devoted member of the Catholic Church, and for this reason, I thought that the book might resonate with her and give her a clearer picture of the possibility of happy marriages. What I found was that you don’t have to be a Christian — or even religious — to find benefit and value in the principles discussed.

The book is written in 40 short, easy-to-read chapters. At the end of each chapter, there is a challenge followed by journal space to log what you are learning and doing.

Each chapter outlines a specific concept with simple, common-sense reminders for how to treat your spouse lovingly. Some require small actions like “add warmth and enthusiasm when you greet your spouse.” Other principles would only be accomplished with, shall I say, more effort, such as the chapter about forgiveness. Each of these principles is bolstered by everyday examples that really ring true and also with biblical stories and scriptures for those with a religious background.

I consider myself to be in a fairly strong marriage. One day, shortly after reading this book, I found myself silently agitated over something my husband did. I spent the entire day working up arguments in my head for why I was right and he was wrong. I worked myself into such a frenzy over this issue that I couldn’t wait to confront him when he got home from work. Then I stopped to tryone of the principles in the book – I chose “first seek to understand.”

So I called my husband and very gently asked what had happened and he told me that because our 2-year-old daughter had been up crying for three hours the night before. He awoke utterly exhausted, and then became apologetic about being unable to fulfill his promise. Because I had taken a nap that afternoon and awoke refreshed, I completely forgot the issue of exhaustion and in that moment of his explanation, I felt so much compassion for him and so much shame for myself. I determined at that moment that I would possibly benefit more from this book than my step-daughter.

This book can apply to any relationship, although it’s geared to marriage. If you’re struggling in a relationship, this book may help you. Or, if you’re in a stable relationship but want to be reminded of how to keep the “joy” going, this may be a worthwhile read. If you follow the suggestion of the book, it will take you 40 days to read and a lifetime to enjoy.

The book gets a rating of 3 out of 5: Enjoyable read for when there is time.

• Reviewer Dina Parker would like to hear from you! Send tips, hints and comments to dinaparker@centurytel.net.